The End of The Year

Dan tahun 2014 akan berakhir beberapa jam dari saat blog ini ditaip.

While typing, I accompanied this moment of mine with a song sang by Katherine Jenkins, Parla Piu Piano. Memang depressing gila, depressing in order to commemorate farewell to the year of my hardship.

Many things telah berlaku kepada gua pada tahun ini, homeless, penniless, been treated poorly, been treated respectfully, a social worker, a backpacker, a fundraiser and still, I will never forget my self foundation, I'm still a madman who wishes to die in a way I deem honorable.

I was so bless this year by meeting D'One Pacific, even though plenty for fucking corporate asshole trying to invite me to join back to the capitalist world, even though my old friends who saw me on the street in a freaking hot climate still enjoying myself, pitching, smiling and maintained positivity and been ridiculed by them for saying that I'm the most idiotic motherfucker ever. But no sweat, no worries, I am an Idiot for them.

Tonight, I was done with team night meeting with my team, it was a pleasant moment, it's not about the free food that my friend treated, it is about the companion that they provide to me that I truly appreciate a lot. Thanks a fucking a lot guys.

Tapi yang paling interesting malam ini, I met Stella, my former girlfriend. Yes, she looks happy dan gua kelihatan sangat terrible, after selepas kehilangan berat badan, selepas rambut panjang gua telah dipotong kepada pendek, selepas segala kesusahan hidup yang ke-stress-an hidup yang gua tempuhi yang telah membuatkan muka dan ekspressi muka gua macam binatang yang sesat di padang tandus.

Yes, she looks happy, that's not good to me. Sebab gua sepatutnya happy in life, but most of my time, gua hanya fikir untuk mampus. Indeed I can pretend to look positive and happy every single day and time in front of people, eventually, it just a mask that I used to cover every thing from any asshole to avoid any kind of fucking stupid question about my emotion.

2014, you has always been interesting to me, gua takkan lupakan kegilaan yang gua tempuhi sepanjang tahun ini. Pada 2015, it's time for me to do something for someone, at least I'm going to leave something behind for someone that I somehow secretly care.

Seekor manusia tidak ada nilai jika matinya hanya sia-sia, seekor manusia tidak ada nilai jika hidupnya juga sia-sia. Seekor manusia hanya bernilai kepada orang yang peduli kepadanya saja.

Maybe 2015 is the time, maybe not, I'm still tak jumpa alasan untuk membuat langkah besar ini. Or should it be like the Seven Pounds? Fuck it all.

I just want to go to Indonesia, breath a new air, smile at new faces, dan gua berharap gua akan ketawa untuk seseorang dan kepada seseorang yang bernilai untuk gua ketawakan.

Life is not for the good people.

Driving, Cursing and Sexy as Hell.

Bagi yang dah boleh memandu, tahniah, korang bukan keseorangan. Most of us can drive, ianya satu keperluan kerana keadaan sociologi kita macam sial. Dengan public transport yang tak best, dengan tambang teksi yang sentiasa menghalusi setiap kenaikan inflasi and bertindak sepantas kilat untuk menaikkan harga tambang mengikut kadar yang ditetapkan oleh binatang-binatang kapitalis teksi yang tamak haloba. The end resort, memandu kereta sendiri lebih mudah.

Tapi ofkos, memandu bukan semudah yang disangka. Di dalam kereta yang bersaiz sedan, tingkap tertutup and pintu terkunci. Seorang pemandu mampu untuk melafazkan ucapan kalimah mencarut sesuka hati untuk melepaskan tekanan hidup.

Beberapa minggu lepas, gua keluar dengan seekor awek, Jeton namanya, (bukan nama sebenar) Dalam kacamata gua, Jeton ni ibatat Perempuan Melayu Terakhir lakonan Vanida Imran. Hot atau tak hot, itu terpulang pada gua untuk memuja.

I didn't know that Jeton kuat mencarut sewaktu memandu, I never expect it, it's beyond my wildest imagination. Well, perempuan yang hot memang takkan tunjukkan sifat-sifat sebegini di depan orang ramai, ini kerana mereka berpegang pada Teori Kentut.

Teori Kentut adalah hypothesis yang direka oleh gua beberapa minit tadi untuk menjelaskan fenomena sebegini. Bayangkan, pernah tak korang lepak dengan sekumpulan awek-awek cun dan mendengar salah seekor dari mereka kentut? Mungkin ada, tapi sangat sangat jarang sekali.

Oleh kerana perempuan juga seekor manusia dah struktur anatomi dan physiology tak banyak beza dengan jantan, mereka juga ada kecenderungan untuk kentut, cuma bezanya, mereka takkan kentut depan orang ramai kerana nak cover, sangat munafik bukan?

So, berbalik kepada cerita Jeton, while she's driving dan gua duduk disebelahnya menanti untuk dia kentut, tetiba, dia mencarut. Lalu pandangan gua beralih kepadanya, dengan tak semena-mena, gua lihat Jeton makin sexy bila mencarut.

Why do I like girls yang mencarut? That's a great question. Sebab gua tak berapa gemar binatang munafik. Mencarut bagi gua adalah satu ekspressi diri yang jujur, satu proses luahan perasaan yang ikhlas, mencarut adalah santapan jiwa.

When I see girl being themselves rather than being someone that she thought people would like it. I choose originality.

It same goes to my new friend, Ash, she's too like to mencarut, tapi sebelum ni takdelah depan gua sebab nak cover cun lah konon, tetapi, lama-kelamaan, selepas gua brozone dia, dan menjadikan diri gua seekor sami, dia mula menonjolkan sifat tak bertamadunnya dengan mencarut sambil memandu. Isn't it sweet? Hell yeah!

Say whatever you wanted to say, maki apa saja, yang hidup yang dah mampus or apa sahaja.

The End of Proscratination

Finally, the blog that I've been longed to create has been materialized in a fucking awkward circumstances - while I'm sick.

Procrastination is a disease, is a war that we should fight, an idealism of a way of life where a man react to each verbal words he has uttered, a revolution for a better and greater legacy of ideal human. In other word, fuck procrastination.

Ceh...... my word were nothing less than a bloody cunt. LOL.

I'm a man and I was born to be pemalas. Sitting on the couch, watching TV, pop some beers and enjoying every bits of unhealthy snack that the devil in the supermarket has to offered. I'm a man and I was born to pampered myself with self-destruction.

Anyway. I've done my part in creating this blog. For those who might accidentally step in to this blog and read my post, let me introduce myself briefly, I'm Eighteen, also formerly known as Jantan Celaka, The Maddog, The Dude, Bal Marley and some even go to the extend of addressing me as my real name; which I don't mind.

I always particular at names and how we human addressing among themselves in a conversation. For instance, me myself, I fucking hate when any asshole calls me Mat or Boy. That is relatively rude. Maybe for some it means nothing, but for me, I can turn into Hulk by hearing any motherfucker calling me that way. So please.

The purpose of this blog is meant for me psychological treatment. I need to express rather than kept all of my thought inside me. Everybody have ideas, they have opinions, and for me, I rather express it out on this blog so that I can let go any grumbling in my thought and empty my recycle bin folder in my mind.

After all, I'm a human, not an animal. I don't bark but I express, I don't pee on one leg up, I stand proudly in front of the mighty urinal and pee as proudly as Napoleon Bonaparte.

So, that's briefly about me, a man who been called by several names but only choose not to be call Mat or Boy.